According to my earnest expectation, and my hope, that in nothing
I shall be ashamed, but that with all boldness, as always, so now
also, Christ shall be magnified in my body, whether it be by life,
or by death. For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain."
(Philippians 1:20,21)
There had always been darkness and tears in my early life. As early
as I can remember, probably 4 years old, my parents always fought,
and it made me cry. They fought everyday. My mom fought with almost
every neighbor. Sometimes I was left alone at home, even for a few
months. There was no one I could talk to. I always wore a smile around
the neighbors because I thought this was what I should do for my family
so they would become peaceful. Some people said I was different from
our family. Others said I was too young to know how serious things
were with my family. Since then I learned to cry inside.
When I was in 6th grade, I moved to a small city where my brother
was studying. One of the reasons for moving was to get out of the
house. However, things were getting worse everyday. My brother started
to become involved in a gang, and often did not come home at night.
I had to cook, eat and sleep by myself. I was afraid to see people
from that time, especially during the daytime. I always stayed home.
I also had to go my hometown to see my parents. I cleaned house, laundered
my dad's clothes, cleaned his room and so on. I just tried to be with
my parents because they loved me so much they did not fight when I
was there.
When I was in high school, my mom also moved to the city. She opened
a small tavern where I always saw drunken men and women. I was next
door and heard every strange word they said, and saw every thing they
did. I started to go out at night. I started to smoke and drink even
though I hated drunken people. I did not want to come back home, because
whenever I come back, I had to see my mom drunk and moaning with pain.
Some women were crying and they fought each other. Sometimes I had
to go out and look for my mom all night. Even though I had many friends
I was lonely. After my friends would go home I would wonder around
all night. I wished that someone had seen how lonely and sad I was.
I could not find any solution. I often slept in the park and river
side.
I used to get in fights often. When I was in 11th grade I was involved
in a big fight. Because I injured a man I had to pay $10,000 for his
injuries. I also went to jail because of this. I realized that I love
my parents, and that they also love me, even though I wished to be
all alone in the world.
Everything was getting worse: my Brother and Sister were also getting
into big trouble. Every day my Mom was getting sicker and sicker.
My Dad was becoming older and his health was failing also. However,
I could not stop drinking and fighting, even though I tried to change.
I could not do this by myself. I could not sleep at night without
drinking because I was so frightened by the police sirens. I was involved
in some bad things even though I did not want to be.
This situation had been going on until I joined the Army. I was always
drinking and fighting. In the Army, I started to think about myself.
I was a miserable person before, but I thought I should not be. I
tried to change the attitude of my life. After I finished the Army,
I went back to college and studied hard to find out myself. I was
able to stop drinking and smoking and earn good grades by myself.
In those times, I met many Christians but they did not tell me about
Jesus. When I was not drinking or fighting, I was an honest, diligent
and lovely person (even though I found that is not true after I became
a Christian). I thought that going to Church was a waste of time.
I thought that I could have more joy and happiness than any Christian.
I thought that I could do more good things than any Christian. Every
thing was fine, but I felt something was missing in my life. I always
felt empty in my heart.
I did believe in God even though I was not a Christian. I did not
know which god is the real God. I went to Church when I was in middle
school for a few months. In the army, I also attended Church for a
few months. However, I did not know exactly who is Jesus and why I
need to believe in Him. Rather than going to Church, I was more attracted
by Buddhism. I was sucked into the Buddhism and some of my friends
called me "Small Buddha."
Having religion meant to me just Being Good and Wealthy. I thought
that all religions have the same destination and so they are actually
the same. I thought that if I was doing good in the world, I would
go to Heaven. I thought that God is just a Creator from long ago and
had nothing to do with this world. I thought that it is our responsibility
to improve our civilization. I thought that we have to work hard for
our generation and our posterity. So I did work hard for myself and
my family. However, things did not go exactly where I wanted.
When I was a Junior in college, I was involved in an accident. One
of my friends threw a glass cup to me. Later he said that he did not
know why he threw a cup. I realized later that God did not stop him
from throwing the cup at me. Anyway I could not see anything with
my right eye. I could not walk on the street, nor see a small bit
of light. I had three surgeries in my right eye in the following year.
At that time I used to have a girl friend, Hannah whom I fell in love
first in my life, and forever. I really loved her, but one day she
said goodbye. After that I always stayed in my dark and small room.
I did not want to see anyone. I had a mental disease because of my
background and had to see a doctor. There was no hope that I would
see. I did not understand why I was in that situation.
When I was in hospital after the surgery of my eye, I was able to
see the sky all the time from my bed. Most of time I was alone, and
walked around in the emergency room, or just looked at the sky. There
were so many people who were hurt seriously and were about to pass
out. I started to think about my life. I will die some day. My last
day could be today or tomorrow. If I die, my family and friends will
cry for me and people might think of me for some days. And then what?
I started to think about God and Heaven. One day I looked at the sky
and asked "Where is the God? Who is Jesus Christ? Are you real
God over there in Heaven? Where I am now and going to tomorrow?
I rented a small room near my college. That was when I went to Church
to see Jesus the first time in my life. One child who was living next
door asked me to come to Church to see his Christmas performance.
That was Christmas Eve 1992. From that day on I went to Church regularly.
Three months later, on March 16, 1993, I met Jesus and accepted Him
as my personal Lord. After I accepted Jesus, everything around me
dramatically changed. In the year of 1993, I worked in a small Church.
Every spare moment I had was spent studying the word of God, and sharing
that word with others. Every Saturday and Sunday I preached the Gospel
on the street and market. Some of my friends told me that I was out
of mind because I was spending so much time in the Church, instead
of worrying about my job and future. I was too happy with Jesus to
do something else. Because the Joy which Jesus gave to me is so big
I could not stay home. I went out and told people about what I had
experienced through Jesus.
In that time, I had prayed to God that I wanted to study but I would
follow whatever God wanted me to do. I asked for my family to have
peace, and that I wanted to see Hannah, whom I believed God sent to
me.
I have been always surprised by what God is doing for me. I am not
deserve God' blessing in a viewpoint of the world. But God always
hears my prayers and answers them. I am studying in America, and living
with Hannah, who is my wife. My Mom and Sister are going to Church
and my family is recovering, with joy and hope in Christ. I also expect
to see with my right eye in few months. What a blessing I have!!
I cannot tell you about ALL my darkness and sadness in my early life.
You may not feel what I felt, but my pain was real and it was for
20 years. Even more than my early life, however, I cannot tell about
how much I am Blessed by Jesus. The wonderful freedom and Joy I felt
when Christ forgave and saved me exists to this very day. Since then
the Lord has taken more and more of my heart and my longings. And
other things have become less and less important. But everything that
falls by the wayside only leaves me with more freedom, and abundant
peace. I do not want to dazzle your mind with spectacular terms like
Entire Sanctification or Justification by Faith. All that I believe
are listed in the Statement of Faith. What I want to do, is share
with you, my story and say to you Jesus Christ changed my life. He
took me from nothing and made my heart content. He gave me rest and
peace when I was drowning in guilt and loneliness. He is all you will
ever need. And He is always loving, and always looking for lost sheep.
Jesus Christ died a scorned humiliating agonizing death on the Cross
just for you.
Friend, you are the most precious person in Christ. Our God is Love.
All you need to do is just pray (look at the bottom of this page)
from your heart. Christianity is more than just religion, but it is
about life. Christianity is more than just Being Good, Healthy or
Wealthy, but it is about Eternal Life. What will happen if you don't
believe in God (meaning the trinity), and the plan of salvation is
real? You will go to Hell for eternity. What will happen if you believe
in God and accept Jesus as your Savior, and it is not real? Nothing.
So by believing in Him you have nothing to loose. By not believing
in Him you may be risking your soul for ever.
I think every one has his or her own religion in some way because
God made us spiritual. So we are always seeking spiritual facts, not
like the Theory of Evolution. If you believe that you will go to Heaven
through your religion, that is fine for you. But there are some things
I am wondering about: I am wondering if you have true Joy and Peace
in your heart when you serve your god, if you are able to communicate
with your god through your prayer. Can your god heal your sick body
and hurt soul? Does your religion have scientifically and historically
infallible evidences of your god? Have you seen many witnesses in
your religion who are just dramatically changed. We Christians have
ALL the answers in the Bible. God is Spiritual. We cannot understand
God in our mind, but we can see and even touch Him, if we accept Him
as our God.
If you have never known Jesus Christ, I am not here to pressure you.
I do not want to threaten you with hell or eternal life. But because
I love you, I want you to find the Eternal Life in Christ. What I
am here to say is that you too, can have what I have found in Jesus
Christ. If you would like information, or simply someone to talk to
about anything I have mentioned here, please email me at hoh@mines.edu
or contact a local Pastor in your area.
God bless you !!!
WHAT You Must Do:
The Bible says, " That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth
the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised
him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. For with the heart man believeth
unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation"
(Romans 10:9-10).
To receive Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior of your life, sincerely
pray this prayer from
you heart:
Dear Jesus,
I believe that You died for me and that You rose again on the third
day. I confess to You that I am a sinner and that I need Your love
and forgiveness. Come into my life, forgive my sins, and give me eternal
life. I confess You now as my Lord. Thank Jesus for my salvation.
In Jesus name Amen.
IF You really Made JESUS your LORD (KING), Then Live like It!
1. Read your Bible to get to know Christ better.
2. Talk to God in prayer.
3. Find a Church where the Bible is taught as the complete Word of
God and is the final authority.
4. Obey Christ's command (be baptized) and follow whatever Holy Spirit
leads you.