Sight God — Testimonials M

Revelation 12:11 says, "And they have overcome (conquered) him by means of the Blood of the Lamb and by the utterances of their testimony..."

Dear Friend,

Though I am computer illiterate, I endeavor to write out my testimony in the belief that it may be of help to some one. I am not a writer by nature, so would appreciate any feedback or corrections you might see the need of. Thank you and God Bless you-Marlene

I was born in 1952, the 2nd child of an alcoholic father and 17 year old mother. My father sexually molested me from the time I was in diapers until I was 11 years old. My mother and father divorced and my mother quickly remarried to an emotionally cruel man. Though I was raised as a Catholic to appease my Grandmother, I went to a Baptist church at 12 years old and I got saved. Though I did receive a Bible for my attendance and heard many Bible Stories (mostly Old Testament) I received no Christian training. Home life was a nightmare of oppression and confusion. Psalms helped me to get through those years.

When I was 15, a friend and I attended a Baptist church where we cried and repented. We left church crying and loving Jesus, but there was no change in our lives. That is when I came to the conclusion that God was in Heaven and I was down here on earth to do the best I could.

One month before my 17th Birthday, I met a recent Vietnam Vet who was 6 years older than I was and ready to get married. After seeing men getting sick from diseases in Vietnam he had decided he wanted a wife to have sex with exclusively. Seven months after our marriage, our daughter Jennifer was born. Neither he nor my mother-in-law believed my daughter was from him. He turned out to be as oppressive and as emotionally cruel as my stepfather had been. After he left, a man broke into my apartment and brutally beat and raped me. I still believe to this day that my ex-husband had set that up to get back at me.

I married again at 19 to a wonderful man who was compassionate, patient, understanding and a hard worker. Our problem was drugs. We smoked pot daily. I did drugs to speed myself up, to give me energy, to accomplish and to overcome shyness. My husband did adopt my daughter and though we tried to be "good" parents and not do drugs around her, we started living an unrestrained life. Through buying drugs I met some Lesbians and because of our stories being so similar came to really believe I was a Lesbian too. Drugs made it easier to experiment. After 2 and 1/2 years, my husband and I went our separate ways and I started to live with another woman. Relationships were intense but turned out to be shallow. Weekends were spent at gay bars drinking, dancing and doing drugs. I loved the whirlwind! Though I entered periods of deep depressions climaxing in Suicide Hotline calls, I was the happiest I had ever been. When I was a teen-ager and had "gotten saved", the Pastor had said, "If you believed you're saved." I believe that's when God planted the first perfect seed in me. Never underestimate the power of God's Love in a letter to a loved one! Pray and write!!! Within a month, I received a phone call from an old friend who had moved away. She had been "born-again"! She read John 3:3 to me. Now I WAS confused! First of all, I had believed I was "saved" all these years but now I wasn't sure. Secondly, my friend was a "good person". She loved her husband and kids, didn't drink, smoke or do drugs and kept a good household. Why would she need to be "Born-again"? She explained how "all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God", how ALL needed to get born-again in order to get to Heaven. I disgustedly said, "So now I suppose you think my lifestyle is a sin?" She said, "It doesn't matter what I think, only what God thinks". THAT caught my attention so she went on to say, "The Bible says that that is what caused God to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah", and I suddenly remembered the story I was taught in it was the cross of Christ. I felt the wood on my skin and smelled the grass! I tried to "look" up to see if I could see Jesus hanging there. I think I may have seen the bottom of His Feet but what caught my attention was the blood flowing down that beam. As I watched it, it came down and flowed onto my head and over my body. When it did, I could see inside myself. I was black with sin. Not any specific sin but it was a lifetime of sinning against God and I knew if I died I would go to hell. I saw hell. For me it was not flames or even the devil. For me hell was eternally separated from the Jesus I loved, never to see Him but KNOWING what I should have done to get to Heaven before I had died but now it was too late to do anything about it! I knew I was not worthy to even be in Heaven; that I deserved to be in hell. Oh how I cried. I felt like not even God could help me. But suddenly I realized that if Jesus had given His life up and spilled His blood for my salvation, surely He could make sure once and for all that He had accomplished in me, the door opened and I was face to face with my lover. As I looked at her, I suddenly realized I had been healed of something I hadn't even known I was sick from. I saw her as a person for whom Jesus had died for. I saw her as if my little sister had just entered the room. Two things went through my heart as I stood there; I knew I was no longer sick from homosexuality and that since I wasn't, I could not continue a lesbian relationship with this woman. My heart saddened for I had great concern for hurting her when she said, "I am leaving you". The joy again flooded my being as I realized that God had known this all along and knew that had I heard that news less than an hour ago, I surely would have ended my life in misery and despair and ended up in hell! Now here I was, Born-Again, a child of God and firmly on a path that He was starting me on and I didn't have to hurt anybody to get there. I was so overjoyed that all I could do was praise God out loud at her words. She really was confused so I told her what had just happened to me. She seemed mildly interested so I tried to explain to her that it wasn’t something she needed to work at but that all she need do was to surrender herself to Jesus (Whom she did believe in) and He would do the rest. She was too concerned about having to give up her homosexuality and wasn’t about to do that. She left. I excitedly called the boy who had written my friend the "Love Letter" and shared with him my conversion. He was very excited for me and we fellowshipped in the Lord for a time on the phone. The next day, my Ex lover returned with other of our gay friends. They had all assumed that we could just drink, smoke pot and party as we always had done together. Instead, they found me still excited about what had happened to me. One said she KNEW she was going to hell for being homosexual but didn’t care. Another said she didn’t believe any of what I said. As we talked, a pot cigarette was being passed around. I’d take it and pass it on but kept pleading with them to listen to what Jesus had done for them. Finally, someone noticed that I was not smoking the pot and said, "Oh, so now you're too good to party with us huh?" I didn't "feel" better than them and besides, I was worn out with trying to explain what had happened to me so I went ahead and smoked the pot. A few minutes later, there was a knock on my door. Was I ever surprised to find the boy who had written the love letter standing there with a pile of Christian reading material (to help me in my new life). The women quickly left and I was left alone with my new Christian Brother only to have a hard time talking about my experience to him because I was so high on pot. I knew he was disappointed with me. He left. But it became my first lesson from the Lord. I could not continue to live there any longer. This was the home of my "old self". I needed a place to go to where I could learn and grow into my new self. I prayed. God told me where and I went. That has been 22 years ago and millions of lessons since then. It has been quite an adventure that is still going on with me and in me and for me. I am now remarried to my daughter’s Born-again adopted Daddy for almost 22 years. We have the one daughter and a son-in-law and three very precious grandsons. God has been so very good to us. My prayer is the same as Paul’s in Acts 26:29, "...I would pray to God that not only you but also all who are listening to me today might become such as I am...". Amen

Who is Jesus to me?

Jesus appeared to me at the age of 17 and manifested himself to me through my high school friends.

What do I mean by "manifested himself"? I mean that he made His presence real to my conscious thought patterns in a series of events in my life as a teenager.

I was raised in a non christian home with a mother that was a non practicing Catholic and a father that never walked through a church door since I can remember.

My parents told me that they believed in the freedom of religion and that as long as I was GOOD I would be allowed to go into Heaven. To make a long story short I had a very strict upbringing. My father was in the Army for several years as a drill instructor. My mother was from European descent and a very strict disciplinarian.

In short I rebelled and stayed in constant turmoil with my parents. The Lord used several friends of mine as instruments to draw me into His kingdom. Ida Colombrito and Tracy and Donald Dewitt are the three people in my life at that time that drew me to Jesus Christ. They were always there to listen to me when I had a problem.

I began spending time at Ida's house and began to talk to her father who happened to be the chaplain for the voluteer fire dept back home. He led me in the sinners prayer by a chopping block in the woods one day. I came to a point in my life where I realized that I was a sinner lost and going to hell and that the only way I would be allowed into the Kingdom of God was by doing several things.

1. Confess my sins to Jesus Christ 2. Repent of my wicked ways. That means to turn away from them 3. Accept the gift of Grace at Calvary where Christ gave his life for the sins of the world.

At that point in my life I did not understand all the theological ramifications or the type of commitment that I had just made but I knew that He resided in my heart and that the awful burden that was on my shoulders was instantly removed. I ran all the way home full of joy!

I was 17 at that time of my life and when I told my parents that I was saved they said , "Saved from what? Drowning?". My parents had no clue what had happened in my life at that point and were very angry that I had continued to talk with those religious fanatics against their wishes.

I visited some churches sporadically from time to time for the next year and through a series of events moved from Quinlan Texas to Houston Texas trying to find a new beginning. This is where I learned about the commitment that I had made to Christ. This is where I learned about the difference between a "salvation" relationship and a "Lordship" relationship.

After being in Houston Texas for about 8 months I lost my job, place to live and my car. I wound up on the streets of Houston and then eventually in a street rescue mission called the Star of Hope Mission. At this time of my life God impressed on my heart in a very real way that I was no different and no more worthy of His grace than any other human being on this planet. At this point in my life I was a very materialistic , loud mouthed and not very heavenly minded young man.

While at the street rescue mission I had the opportunity of listening to the Gospel being preached three times a day before I was allowed to eat. I remember asking this question. " Why ME Lord, what have I done to deserve this?" After 45 days of being at the Star of Hope Mission, listening to the Gospel, praying, crying and counseling sessions I was in a position where the Lord could speak to me.

Through the quiet voice of the Holy Spirit in my heart I was told, "It is not what you have done James, it is what you have not done". I was devestated! Who me Lord? I yanked out my wallet and showed him my fire insurance card and said "I have accepted you as my Saviour according to what the scripture has said". The Lord impressed on my heart that being a Christian has some very solemn responsibilities attached to it. The Lord impressed on my heart that my life was purchased with an awesome price. The blood of Jesus at Calvary was that price and I was not to take it very lightly.

I went from being a "fire insurance card" christian to a person that to this very day is learning what it means to be in a relationship with Jesus Christ my Lord. Having a Lordship relationship is a one day at a time and sometimes one minute at a time ordeal. It is one thing to confess with our mouths that Jesus Christ is Lord. The devil and his fallen angels confess that and tremble. Having faith in the Lord and being obedient to His word is where faith comes in.

Do I think that I am perfect because of my relationship with Christ? No, far from it I would say. The only difference in me and a person that has not accepted Christ as their saviour is when I fall face down in sin I have a Lord and Saviour that will forgive me and cleanse me from all unrighteousness. My testimony may not be as dramatic as some. I have not been delivered from any type of addiction or abusive situation. I am not a pimp or prostitute or murderer. What did happen one day at the age of 17 is that the Holy Spirit spoke to me and manifested the Love of God and the mercy and grace of God to my life. I thank Him that I was able to receive the invitation of God and accepted it.

Life is not easy folks. It is full of its ups and downs. IT is full of disappointments. I can say with all my heart that without Jesus Christ in your heart you do not stand a chance. Through the hard times in my life I have been able to turn to Christ when no one else has been there for me. I have been on the streets with three bags of belongings, in a street mission, in jail. I have been homeless and have gone through a very bloody , emotionally tragic divorce. I am no stranger to pain.Through it all, when I turned to the Lord He was faithful and just to be there.

I challenge you today to find a place of quitness. A place where you are not interrupted by life in general. Jesus Christ is preparing a place for his children, the bride of Christ. He died on that cruel Roman cross for you just as for me and the rest of the world. I want to encourage you to seek out the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. He is a gentelman and will not force himself upon you. You have to seek Him out and when you do, He will come into your heart and take up residency. He will fill your heart with a joy that you will not be able to fathom. He will give you strength to overcome any trial or pain that this world can throw at you.

He is waiting for your commitment to Him. He has done it all for you. You do not have to do anything to prepare. The table has been prepared. All you have to do is be quiet and be honest with Him in your heart and ask Him to reveal himself to you in a way that only you will understand. He will and when He does you will not be sorry.

What will you do with Jesus Christ today ?

In His Name James Moffitt aka Friend


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General Marriage & Family Inspirational/Born Again Miracles & Healings Life Experiences Prayer Requests	\| A \| B \| C \| D \| E \| F \| G \| H \| I \| J \| K \| L \| M \| N \| O \| P \| Q \| R \| S \| T \| U \| V \| W \| X \| Y \| Z M Testimonials By Name Marlene McKern Bert McCarthy - Need Prayer Edna Millsap - Power Of Faith James L. Millsap Noel Meadowcroft - The Disease That Afflicted My Body Had Nothing To Do With the Disease of Sin That Troubled My Soul. Jean Moreau James Moffitt - Who Is Jesus To Me? Bert McCarthy EMail: irish@lsbsdi2.lightspeed.net Need Prayer My husband has recently been diagnosed with Leiomyscarcoma. He had surgery on November 18th where a kidney was removed along with a large mass. The cancer has not invaded any organ. We are going to M.D. Anderson Cancer Institute on January 5th for a week's review and possible begin Chemotherapy. Pray for the doctors and my husband that God's will be done and the cup that has been sent to him be passed away and we be given more time to do His work. back to top Marlene McKern Illinois, USA Email: mmmckern@yahoo.com Revelation 12:11 says, "And they have overcome (conquered) him by means of the Blood of the Lamb and by the utterances of their testimony..." Dear Friend, Though I am computer illiterate, I endeavor to write out my testimony in the belief that it may be of help to some one. I am not a writer by nature, so would appreciate any feedback or corrections you might see the need of. Thank you and God Bless you-Marlene I was born in 1952, the 2nd child of an alcoholic father and 17 year old mother. My father sexually molested me from the time I was in diapers until I was 11 years old. My mother and father divorced and my mother quickly remarried to an emotionally cruel man. Though I was raised as a Catholic to appease my Grandmother, I went to a Baptist church at 12 years old and I got saved. Though I did receive a Bible for my attendance and heard many Bible Stories (mostly Old Testament) I received no Christian training. Home life was a nightmare of oppression and confusion. Psalms helped me to get through those years. When I was 15, a friend and I attended a Baptist church where we cried and repented. We left church crying and loving Jesus, but there was no change in our lives. That is when I came to the conclusion that God was in Heaven and I was down here on earth to do the best I could. One month before my 17th Birthday, I met a recent Vietnam Vet who was 6 years older than I was and ready to get married. After seeing men getting sick from diseases in Vietnam he had decided he wanted a wife to have sex with exclusively. Seven months after our marriage, our daughter Jennifer was born. Neither he nor my mother-in-law believed my daughter was from him. He turned out to be as oppressive and as emotionally cruel as my stepfather had been. After he left, a man broke into my apartment and brutally beat and raped me. I still believe to this day that my ex-husband had set that up to get back at me. I married again at 19 to a wonderful man who was compassionate, patient, understanding and a hard worker. Our problem was drugs. We smoked pot daily. I did drugs to speed myself up, to give me energy, to accomplish and to overcome shyness. My husband did adopt my daughter and though we tried to be "good" parents and not do drugs around her, we started living an unrestrained life. Through buying drugs I met some Lesbians and because of our stories being so similar came to really believe I was a Lesbian too. Drugs made it easier to experiment. After 2 and 1/2 years, my husband and I went our separate ways and I started to live with another woman. Relationships were intense but turned out to be shallow. Weekends were spent at gay bars drinking, dancing and doing drugs. I loved the whirlwind! Though I entered periods of deep depressions climaxing in Suicide Hotline calls, I was the happiest I had ever been. When I was a teen-ager and had "gotten saved", the Pastor had said, "If you believed you're saved." I believe that's when God planted the first perfect seed in me. Never underestimate the power of God's Love in a letter to a loved one! Pray and write!!! Within a month, I received a phone call from an old friend who had moved away. She had been "born-again"! She read John 3:3 to me. Now I WAS confused! First of all, I had believed I was "saved" all these years but now I wasn't sure. Secondly, my friend was a "good person". She loved her husband and kids, didn't drink, smoke or do drugs and kept a good household. Why would she need to be "Born-again"? She explained how "all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God", how ALL needed to get born-again in order to get to Heaven. I disgustedly said, "So now I suppose you think my lifestyle is a sin?" She said, "It doesn't matter what I think, only what God thinks". THAT caught my attention so she went on to say, "The Bible says that that is what caused God to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah", and I suddenly remembered the story I was taught in it was the cross of Christ. I felt the wood on my skin and smelled the grass! I tried to "look" up to see if I could see Jesus hanging there. I think I may have seen the bottom of His Feet but what caught my attention was the blood flowing down that beam. As I watched it, it came down and flowed onto my head and over my body. When it did, I could see inside myself. I was black with sin. Not any specific sin but it was a lifetime of sinning against God and I knew if I died I would go to hell. I saw hell. For me it was not flames or even the devil. For me hell was eternally separated from the Jesus I loved, never to see Him but KNOWING what I should have done to get to Heaven before I had died but now it was too late to do anything about it! I knew I was not worthy to even be in Heaven; that I deserved to be in hell. Oh how I cried. I felt like not even God could help me. But suddenly I realized that if Jesus had given His life up and spilled His blood for my salvation, surely He could make sure once and for all that He had accomplished in me, the door opened and I was face to face with my lover. As I looked at her, I suddenly realized I had been healed of something I hadn't even known I was sick from. I saw her as a person for whom Jesus had died for. I saw her as if my little sister had just entered the room. Two things went through my heart as I stood there; I knew I was no longer sick from homosexuality and that since I wasn't, I could not continue a lesbian relationship with this woman. My heart saddened for I had great concern for hurting her when she said, "I am leaving you". The joy again flooded my being as I realized that God had known this all along and knew that had I heard that news less than an hour ago, I surely would have ended my life in misery and despair and ended up in hell! Now here I was, Born-Again, a child of God and firmly on a path that He was starting me on and I didn't have to hurt anybody to get there. I was so overjoyed that all I could do was praise God out loud at her words. She really was confused so I told her what had just happened to me. She seemed mildly interested so I tried to explain to her that it wasn’t something she needed to work at but that all she need do was to surrender herself to Jesus (Whom she did believe in) and He would do the rest. She was too concerned about having to give up her homosexuality and wasn’t about to do that. She left. I excitedly called the boy who had written my friend the "Love Letter" and shared with him my conversion. He was very excited for me and we fellowshipped in the Lord for a time on the phone. The next day, my Ex lover returned with other of our gay friends. They had all assumed that we could just drink, smoke pot and party as we always had done together. Instead, they found me still excited about what had happened to me. One said she KNEW she was going to hell for being homosexual but didn’t care. Another said she didn’t believe any of what I said. As we talked, a pot cigarette was being passed around. I’d take it and pass it on but kept pleading with them to listen to what Jesus had done for them. Finally, someone noticed that I was not smoking the pot and said, "Oh, so now you're too good to party with us huh?" I didn't "feel" better than them and besides, I was worn out with trying to explain what had happened to me so I went ahead and smoked the pot. A few minutes later, there was a knock on my door. Was I ever surprised to find the boy who had written the love letter standing there with a pile of Christian reading material (to help me in my new life). The women quickly left and I was left alone with my new Christian Brother only to have a hard time talking about my experience to him because I was so high on pot. I knew he was disappointed with me. He left. But it became my first lesson from the Lord. I could not continue to live there any longer. This was the home of my "old self". I needed a place to go to where I could learn and grow into my new self. I prayed. God told me where and I went. That has been 22 years ago and millions of lessons since then. It has been quite an adventure that is still going on with me and in me and for me. I am now remarried to my daughter’s Born-again adopted Daddy for almost 22 years. We have the one daughter and a son-in-law and three very precious grandsons. God has been so very good to us. My prayer is the same as Paul’s in Acts 26:29, "...I would pray to God that not only you but also all who are listening to me today might become such as I am...". Amen back to top Edna Millsap Power of Faith There is a land I cannot see A power of force keeps guiding me No matter how the rain may fall blinding my way No matter how floods may rise, from day to day Somehow my travel doesn't seem too hard I keep my faith ahead of me for I never lose sight of God I know He is near me through floods and rain I know He is by my side when I ache with pain I know He is always there, I can feel His presence in the air That's why I love Jesus, He always answers my prayers back to top James L. Millsap, Jr. Illinois, U.S.A. EMail: millsap@blackfishnet.com I was walking down a street in downtown Chicago some time ago, and I noticed three young men walking toward me. The men looked as though they hated the world and all who inhabit it. I found myself contemplating the worse possible scenario..... death! As they approached, I saw something quite reassuring. One of the teens was wearing a cross on his shirt. A Cross! I immediately felt better, as if a weight had been lifted from my chest. "He's a Christian!" I thought to myself. I smiled and nodded as they passed, and you know, I couldn't help feeling a sense of ... optimism for our youth of the world. back to top James L. Millsap, Jr. Noel Meadowcroft Emmaus, PA EMail: dhammett@xc.org The Disease That Afflicted My Body Had Nothing To Do With the Disease of Sin That Troubled My Soul The crippling disease of Polio struck me at the age of five. It left me hopelessly unable to do those recreational things that other children did on a daily basis. As I grew older, it was extremely hard to deal with mylimitations. Obvious "why" questions frequently loomed in my mind. Whose fault was my impairment? Mine? My parents? Or should I blame God? My folks drove us to church and Sunday school occasionally. My recollectionof church could be described as dry, lifeless, and certainly impersonal. Myteenage years were spent without goals and without purpose. Like my peers, rebellion and self-centeredness were my short-range goals. After high school, I landed a job as a mechanic at a large automobile agency. I discovered that I believed in "conservative" values. Still, after a number of years, my life lacked structure and purpose. In 1967, in the tenth year of my employment with this Chevrolet agency, I became acquainted with a newly hired mechanic by the name of Fred Dilworth. Fred was "different". He was friendly, kind-spirited, had strong principles and was very religious. My respect for Fred grew. Our discussions ultimately ended with his interest in God and the Bible. These discussions prompted me to ask many questions. As Fred would gently answer my questions with his Bible in hand, I grew increasingly uncomfortable with the way my life was going. Knowing in my heart that the things Fred was showing me in the Bible made sense, I invited Fred to visit me at my apartment. As Fred showed me passage after passage of Scripture, I realized that God had far more to offer than mere "conservative value". I began to realize how little I actually knew of the things that really mattered. I had many unanswered questions. Where would I spend eternity after I died? Was God going to feel sorry for me because of the Polio I contracted as a child? I came to the conclusion that the answer was a big "NO!" The disease that inflicted my body had nothing to do with the disease of sin that troubled my soul. Fred pointed me to the risen Savior, Jesus Christ, who was able to heal my spiritual needs. Trusting in His finished work on Calvary and repenting of the sin that I knew was within me, I received His free pardon of that sin. Excitement, peace, joy and comfort flooded my soul. After struggling with what the Bible had to tell me, I was gloriously saved in November of 1968. (Note: "Saved" is a biblical term referring to the forgivenes of sins by God and the rescue of the person from the power and penalty of that sin. This is God's requirement for everlasting life.) According to the Scriptures, it was my own sinful nature that was keeping me from the Gates of Heaven. My life was changed, my life after death is eternally secure, my purpose in life is serving Christ. As there is a Polio vaccine, the sin vaccine is in the name of Jesus Christ, if you listen carefully and honestly to the cure. There is none righteous, no, not one. Romans 3:10 For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God. Romans 3:23 For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. Romans 6:23 But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. Much more then, being now justified with his blood, we shall be saved from wrath through him. Romans 5:8-9 I tell you, Nay: but, except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish. Luke 13:3 My fervent prayer is that you believe you are a sinner; that you believe Christ died and rose again for you; and that you ask the Lord Jesus Christ to forgive your sins and to save your soul...Today! Listen to His promise. As many as received Him, to them gave He power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on His name. John 1:12 back to top Jean Moreau Etudiant en Informatique UNIVERSITE DU QUEBEC a T.R TROIS-RIVIERES,QUEBEC CANADA G8Y-4S5 EMail: jmoreau@rci-enr.net On the 23rd of March 1984, in the evening, I attended a party for youngsters that took place in St-Gregoire, at the city of Becancour, near Trois Rivieres. At that time, I was fourteen years old. Walking on the side of the road, me on my own side, and my girlfriend on the other, ( A quarrel had been the cause of our separation) I suddenly saw a car which was heading straight at my girlfriend. I jumped towards her, in order to avoid the collision that I judged imminent. The car hit me in full. Later I was in hospital, for 14 days in a coma with a skull fracture, internal bleedings, concussion, and a swelling of the brain. The doctors said that my chances of survival were minimal, especially as a consequence of the last symptom which only admits very small chances of recovery. If I were to survive, my brain and mental condition would, according to them, be strongly affected. This was the verdict they gave to my parents on the day before I woke up. I opended my eyes on the 14'th day. From that moment on, I had to relearn everything. Relearn how to talk and to walk in the right way, to bring my food to the mouth in order to eat, to put my slippers on my feet instead of on my head. My parents thought I was totally nuts but alive ! I didn't recognise anybody. Everybody and everything was unknown to me. You should have seen the look on the face of my only sister, when, some days after I woke up, in my hospital room, I asked her to go and fetch ... my sister. When I returned from the hospital, I also remember that I found myself, together with her and my father, sitting on the patio of my fathers cottage, wondering who the other fellow must be. As I couldn't find the answer my sister had to tell me. Over the months, I regained my motor functions and a more coherent mode of expression, and I learned to think before I moved. All this has been told to me later by my sister and my parents, because I don't remember anything about it. Neither do I remember anything about my life before the accident, with the exception of some events and persons that had had a very strong impact on me. Later my problems were on an other level. People had to repeat everything for me. I went to the corner of the street and I was lost. I talked to someone about some subject, and, a few minutes later, I restarted the same discussion from the beginning. I shook hands and introduced myself to people that I had met a day before. Thus, I also had to renew my aqaintance with all of my friends. Some gave me the impression that I had seen them somewhere before, but nothing more. I had to accept them in my life, in the way that you accept the pieces on a chessboard when you play on for some other player that has suddenly left the game. One evening I had a discussion with one of them. Our conversation turned to the question whether there was a god reigning the universe. My friend explained his feelings about this question; " I don't believe in any entity or god. Life starts when you are born, and extinghuishes upon death. The rest is nonsense." I answered : " Me too. With all that happended to me I don't believe there is a god somewhere." I had to undergo an operation on my wrist in order to loosen the bones that permit a rotation of the wrist. These were fixed to a metal plate that had been put there during my first stay in hospital. I was also thinking of all the inconveniences that I was going through at that time; loss of memory, disorder, loss of sense of direction, etc. It was not uncommon for me to ask the name of some friend though I had grown up with him, or to lose my way, when visiting the bicycle repair shop a few blocks down. This was a year later, almost on exactly the same day as the accident. Then, on the day that I spoke with my friend, when the time came to go to bed, I was with my sister in the small bedroom in my fathers cottage. Our beds were placed side to side. I couldn't find sleep and was in that stage where you go try to sleep and you let your mind wander through all the things that happened that day. Suddenly, in a flash, my whole being was filled with an undescribable sense of well-being. An uncomparable source of warmth, love, trust and confort, being born from inside my breast, surrounded me. It is then that I relived the most wonderfull encounter that I was given to have in my life. I don't know how I knew that this encounter had already taken place, but I just knew. Every particle of my being was filled with the joy and love that reigned around me. This love filled me to such an extent, that I was this love. I didn't feel my body but I knew that I was alive in the middle of this unconditional love. Besides, I am convinced, that my body would not have been able to supportsuch intense joy and happiness, and every atom composing it would have exploded. There is no right wording to describe the peace and the serenity. At the same time, I felt this question which was being put to me: " What do you want to do now ? " These were not spoken words. I just "felt" the question. It appeared inside my mind. My answer was,without any hesitation, that I wanted to go back because of my father. I still don't know why. My father seems to be doing ok. It was the first time that this idea occured to me. My father is a proud man, which doesn't seem to need anybody to help him for whatever purpose. I also felt that the choice which was being offered to me, was put in the way of a parent that knows what's best for his child but asks him anyway in order to teach him to choose that which is right. At that point, everything was over. I had the impression to see how the bedroom reappeared, all of a sudden, like the background in a movie that has been stopped and which is then continued. I woke my sister to tell her everything. I was afraid that my memory would steal these precious moments away from me, which happened quite often during this period of my life. This fear exceeded that of looking like an idiot to my sister which then was only 14 years old. She listened to me and told me that she understood my reaction. This is now 11 years ago, and I have never needed her assistance to refresh my memory. I remember it every day as if it were yesterday. When I talk about this to a person that is close to me, a warm and glowing feeling kindles itself in me, which takes my breath away for several moments. My eyes drown in water, and my heart glows, and makes me feel the remnants of what I once experienced. When I spoke about this to my mother, she said to me: "I knew. When you were in this coma, I spoke to you and said; 'I know that that you are happy there but come back to us' ". I left this wonderfull place having as a consolation the certainty that I will go back there one day, whatever might happen. I know that the presence I encountered there is the source of my being, that it knows everything about me, that it understands me completely, and loves me with a love which is stronger then anything that exists. At that time, I wanted to cry it out to the whole world. I wanted to tell everybody that there is nothing to fear in death, that God does exist, and that he loves us all. However, until recently, I haven't spoken about it except to people which are very close to me, of whom I was certain that they would understand me. To survive the accident and the years that followed it has not been easy, but I'm glad that this has happened to me. I think that I needed this event at that time in order to redirect my life which wasn't running in the right direction. For a very long time, I was angry at the man that hit me, but not anymore. I have even met him a few years later and reassured him about my well being. If you have lived a similar experience and would like to share it, please write to me. Jean Moreau. back to top James Moffitt EMail: Jcmoffit@phoenix.net Who is Jesus to me? Jesus appeared to me at the age of 17 and manifested himself to me through my high school friends. What do I mean by "manifested himself"? I mean that he made His presence real to my conscious thought patterns in a series of events in my life as a teenager. I was raised in a non christian home with a mother that was a non practicing Catholic and a father that never walked through a church door since I can remember. My parents told me that they believed in the freedom of religion and that as long as I was GOOD I would be allowed to go into Heaven. To make a long story short I had a very strict upbringing. My father was in the Army for several years as a drill instructor. My mother was from European descent and a very strict disciplinarian. In short I rebelled and stayed in constant turmoil with my parents. The Lord used several friends of mine as instruments to draw me into His kingdom. Ida Colombrito and Tracy and Donald Dewitt are the three people in my life at that time that drew me to Jesus Christ. They were always there to listen to me when I had a problem. I began spending time at Ida's house and began to talk to her father who happened to be the chaplain for the voluteer fire dept back home. He led me in the sinners prayer by a chopping block in the woods one day. I came to a point in my life where I realized that I was a sinner lost and going to hell and that the only way I would be allowed into the Kingdom of God was by doing several things. 1. Confess my sins to Jesus Christ 2. Repent of my wicked ways. That means to turn away from them 3. Accept the gift of Grace at Calvary where Christ gave his life for the sins of the world. At that point in my life I did not understand all the theological ramifications or the type of commitment that I had just made but I knew that He resided in my heart and that the awful burden that was on my shoulders was instantly removed. I ran all the way home full of joy! I was 17 at that time of my life and when I told my parents that I was saved they said , "Saved from what? Drowning?". My parents had no clue what had happened in my life at that point and were very angry that I had continued to talk with those religious fanatics against their wishes. I visited some churches sporadically from time to time for the next year and through a series of events moved from Quinlan Texas to Houston Texas trying to find a new beginning. This is where I learned about the commitment that I had made to Christ. This is where I learned about the difference between a "salvation" relationship and a "Lordship" relationship. After being in Houston Texas for about 8 months I lost my job, place to live and my car. I wound up on the streets of Houston and then eventually in a street rescue mission called the Star of Hope Mission. At this time of my life God impressed on my heart in a very real way that I was no different and no more worthy of His grace than any other human being on this planet. At this point in my life I was a very materialistic , loud mouthed and not very heavenly minded young man. While at the street rescue mission I had the opportunity of listening to the Gospel being preached three times a day before I was allowed to eat. I remember asking this question. " Why ME Lord, what have I done to deserve this?" After 45 days of being at the Star of Hope Mission, listening to the Gospel, praying, crying and counseling sessions I was in a position where the Lord could speak to me. Through the quiet voice of the Holy Spirit in my heart I was told, "It is not what you have done James, it is what you have not done". I was devestated! Who me Lord? I yanked out my wallet and showed him my fire insurance card and said "I have accepted you as my Saviour according to what the scripture has said". The Lord impressed on my heart that being a Christian has some very solemn responsibilities attached to it. The Lord impressed on my heart that my life was purchased with an awesome price. The blood of Jesus at Calvary was that price and I was not to take it very lightly. I went from being a "fire insurance card" christian to a person that to this very day is learning what it means to be in a relationship with Jesus Christ my Lord. Having a Lordship relationship is a one day at a time and sometimes one minute at a time ordeal. It is one thing to confess with our mouths that Jesus Christ is Lord. The devil and his fallen angels confess that and tremble. Having faith in the Lord and being obedient to His word is where faith comes in. Do I think that I am perfect because of my relationship with Christ? No, far from it I would say. The only difference in me and a person that has not accepted Christ as their saviour is when I fall face down in sin I have a Lord and Saviour that will forgive me and cleanse me from all unrighteousness. My testimony may not be as dramatic as some. I have not been delivered from any type of addiction or abusive situation. I am not a pimp or prostitute or murderer. What did happen one day at the age of 17 is that the Holy Spirit spoke to me and manifested the Love of God and the mercy and grace of God to my life. I thank Him that I was able to receive the invitation of God and accepted it. Life is not easy folks. It is full of its ups and downs. IT is full of disappointments. I can say with all my heart that without Jesus Christ in your heart you do not stand a chance. Through the hard times in my life I have been able to turn to Christ when no one else has been there for me. I have been on the streets with three bags of belongings, in a street mission, in jail. I have been homeless and have gone through a very bloody , emotionally tragic divorce. I am no stranger to pain.Through it all, when I turned to the Lord He was faithful and just to be there. I challenge you today to find a place of quitness. A place where you are not interrupted by life in general. Jesus Christ is preparing a place for his children, the bride of Christ. He died on that cruel Roman cross for you just as for me and the rest of the world. I want to encourage you to seek out the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. He is a gentelman and will not force himself upon you. You have to seek Him out and when you do, He will come into your heart and take up residency. He will fill your heart with a joy that you will not be able to fathom. He will give you strength to overcome any trial or pain that this world can throw at you. He is waiting for your commitment to Him. He has done it all for you. You do not have to do anything to prepare. The table has been prepared. All you have to do is be quiet and be honest with Him in your heart and ask Him to reveal himself to you in a way that only you will understand. He will and when He does you will not be sorry. What will you do with Jesus Christ today ? In His Name James Moffitt aka Friend back to top
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