Ann's Testimony Continued ...

Fear had taken hold of me. I kept asking the security guard to allow me to talk to my son or my brother. But he wouldn’t allow me. Every minute seemed like a year! It was simply unbearable inside the cell. I tried to sleep, but sleep wouldn’t come. After an hour inside the cell, I was choking. The only air entering that cell was through the opening at the bottom of that door. I just couldn’t endure it any longer. All the women inside were pretty relaxed, doing their own stuff – chatting, eating, joking, laughing, and taking their shower. They were so comfortable; it was like they lived there.

There was only one elderly Muslim lady who cried a lot. The strange thing is, no matter how scared I was, I couldn’t cry. I admit one thing though, inspite of my fear, there was an inner calm which I couldn’t explain then but I understand it now. For this type of calmness only comes from one person, Jesus! I found out later, that people in India, Canada and States were praying for me. That explains the tranquility I felt even in my worst moments. I really can’t express in words how I managed to get through my first night in the cell. To put it in simple English, every minute was traumatic and frightful! If I managed to fall off to sleep, it was due to mere exhaustion. I was exhausted from getting up early in the morning to catch my flight. Exhausted from the hours I was held up at the airport and exhausted from the whole ordeal.

The light in the cell was never switched off, but yet, I must have dozed off to sleep within an hour after being thrown inside. But, only to awaken a few hours later and notice that all the women were fast asleep. That strange feeling in the pit of my stomach returned all over again. I must have dozed off to sleep again. I woke up at about five in the morning (I knew it was morning because I had my watch) and the other women were fast asleep. As I sat there, I could hear the devil say, "You’ve blown it! You’re so weak; you’re such a lousy Christian. Give up! Throw in the towel. You’ll never make it!" I got up and began to pace up and down. As I walked, my eyes were turned towards a writing on the wall. The words I read were, "Those who believe in Jesus was saved" (written in poor grammar). The Lord knew what Satan was up to, so He took hold of my hand and said to me, "Come child, read these words, for this is all you have to do, believe in me!"

Of course, nothing changed in the cell. It was still very difficult to breathe in there. Each time I got choked, I would go to the door, bend down on my knees, place my nose to the floor and breathe in as much oxygen as I could. I did this several times through out the day. If I wasn’t at the door, I was pacing up and down 1, 2, 3 steps up and 1, 2, 3 steps back that was all the space my feet could take me. To be honest, these were the only verses I had memorised from the Bible and in my moments of weakness and defeat I kept repeating them: 2 TIM 1:7 "THE LORD HAS NOT GIVEN ME A SPIRIT OF FEAR, BUT OF POWER, OF LOVE AND OF A SOUND MIND", 1 JOHN 4:4 "GREATER IS HE THAT IS IN ME THAN HE THAT IS IN THE WORLD" and ROM 8:31 "IF THE LORD BE FOR US WHO CAN BE AGAINST US". These verses gave me inner strength, hope to go on and cling to a love that I could never begin to understand the love of my Lord Jesus Christ!

It was now my second day in the cell. I had not eaten any food. All I did was drink water to moisten my lips which were sore. I just wanted the nightmare to come to an end. I longed to go home, to family and friends. Food was the last thing on my mind. I continued to pray. In fact, that’s all I ever did. If I paced up and down, I was praying. If I sat, I had my palms outstretched upwards and I’d pray and if I was lying down, I was praying. I never stopped praying. My lips never stopped giving thanks and praise to the Lord.

On my third day in the cell, the Lord spoke to me again. There were many writings on the walls. But the Lord didn’t want me to see them all at one time. So, each day, my eyes would see what He, the Lord wanted them to see. This time, I read, "JESUS IS MY STRENGTH". It’s like the Lord knew that I would need strength on the third day, because I hadn’t consumed food. I just couldn’t eat. The sight of the food made me want to throw up. In the Bible it says, "…for my strength is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9.

On the evening of the third day, I was sitting and praying as usual, while all the women did their usual stuff - talked, laughed, ate. Although the Muslim woman prayed, she was always unhappy and she cried ever so often. That evening she came and sat by my side and said to me, "Who are you praying to?" I said, "Jesus. He is the only one I know how to pray to and through Him, my father in Heaven hears me." Then she said, "Can you pray for me too." I said to her, "I can, but I want you to pray to him." Then she said, "What did you say his name was?" I said, "Jesus." Then, she said, "Jesus" and she began to pray and I actually heard her take the name of Jesus. And seconds later she said, "You know what, I feel so much better." Ofcourse, I didn’t know then that the Lord had actually used me, but I know it now. For it clearly says in, John 4:34 "My food is to do the will of Him who sent Me, and to finish His work." Yes, as Christians, we should be good examples to the others around us especially to non-believers. They should notice our faith in Jesus.

This part of my testimony is vital. No matter what I was going through, I never stopped giving thanks and praise to the Lord. I don’t know if you have read, "PRISON TO PRAISE" – "POWER IN PRAISE" – and "PRAISE WORKS", I’m really glad I did! I know, if I hadn’t read those books before my horrible ordeal, I would have never known how to thank and praise the Lord for what happened to me at the airport, for the 3 nights in the cell and for what I’m still going through. Even when I choked, I said, "Thank you Lord, thank you my Jesus. For everything I give you thanks and praise." I know, Satan thought he could stop me from praising God by his devious ways but, I said to him, "Satan, in the name of Jesus, you have no place here, go away, the more you hurt me, the more I’ll give praise and thanks to the Lord!"

I honestly admit, I wasn’t aware that praise and worship transforms our troubles till I spent those 3 nights in prison. As I praised and worshiped, I found that my Father was close to me and that He loves me. I had never been in prison before. This first experience should have frightened me, but in the depths of my distress, He gave me a measure of His joy, which no sorrow could take away from me. He gave me His love. What a glorious hope in the midst of my suffering. Nothing so glorifies God as praising Him for His love when we can no longer understand Him and are tempted to lose confidence in His love.

In Luke 8:5-8 it tells us about "The Parable of the Sower". In all honestly I do admit that at that time, my faith was like – The seeds that fell on the rock – like the people who hear, receive the word with joy, and have no root, who believe for a while and give in when temptations come.. I let Satan control me with fear. My faith wasn’t strong enough to believe that no matter what the circumstance, God is there by my side. So, the only way He confirmed it to me is, by guiding my eyes to read the writings written by other believers.

Actually, He was with me right from the very beginning. If it wasn’t for Him, my brothers friend, wouldn’t have come in and my brother wouldn’t have known how to get in touch with my lawyer. And when my brother did get in touch with my lawyer, he was scheduled to leave for Bahrain and would have been out of town. But the Lord took care of that too. My brother met my lawyer, who promised him that he’d be in court for me first thing on Saturday, which ofcourse I knew nothing of.

If the Lord wasn’t for me, then come Saturday, I would have been taken to Court, from there to the Central Jail till my lawyer was able to get me out on bail. But God was with me like He was with Paul, when he was in prison. Psalm 62:1-2 "In God alone does my soul find rest for he saves me. He is both my rock and my salvation; he is my defender so I will never be defeated." The Lord set me free on the 29th of March, 2000.

On the morning of that day, at about 10:00 a.m while I was taken to court, I looked toward the sky and said, "Thank you my Lord, thank you that I’m able to see the sky again." I’m not going to deny it, I was afraid. I didn’t know what to expect. I wasn’t even aware that my lawyer would be there because right up to now I wasn’t allowed to make any phone calls. I still didn’t get a chance to talk to anyone or find out about my lawyer. While I waited in Court, my lawyer, (who was in a hurry) walked pass me so fast that I barely had a chance to sight the end of his robe. But I knew instantly that it was him. Don’t ask me how I knew. I just did! The Lord gave me that instinct. For he stepped back, entered the room, held on to my hand and said, "Don’t worry, everything’s going to be alright."

If only I knew then what I know now, I would have known at that time, that no matter how difficult the situation, no matter how tough the battle, it wasn’t mine to fight, but God’s. All He wanted from me was to believe in Him and see the salvation of the Lord who is with me. For it clearly says in Deuteronomy 3:22 "You must not fear them, for the Lord your God Himself fights for you." And in Is. 41:10-13 it says "Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yes, I will help thee; I will uphold thee with my victorious right hand."

To me, it was the Lord Himself who held my hand through the hand of my lawyer and who used his words to comfort me. It says in Hebrews 13:5 "I will never leave you nor forsake you." At about 8:00 p.m. that same day, after completing the formalities of bail, I was released! The Lord finally got me out of that rotten cell. Of course, being released from the cell didn’t mean that was the end of my problems. After having discussed with my lawyer the pros and cons of my case, he told me, that it would cost US$ 13,000/- up front and US$ 13,000/- once the case was over, a total of US$ 26,000/-. Where could I arrange for such a huge amount of money? All I had with me was US$ 2,000/-.

I could clearly hear the devil whisper, "I told you to throw in the towel, but you think this so called Jesus of yours will help you. Well, go, see if your Jesus can get you out of this one?" In all honesty, I do admit I did worry. Satan’s evil whispers got me all worked up. But I remembered God’s word - Mark 11:24 "Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them."

So I started praying to the Lord. I humbled myself before Him. I begged forgiveness for the wretched sinner that I am. And you know what, the Lord provided! After all, He is Jehovah Jireh our provider! He provided me with US$ 12,000/-. I was still short of US$ 1000/-. I prayed again and asked the Lord to put compassion in my lawyer’s heart. That is exactly what the Lord did. When I explained to my lawyer that I’m short of money, he told me not to worry, that the rest could be given to him with the other half of the amount. So there, the Lord proved Satan to be a liar and a deceiver! Revelation 12:9 "The devil and Satan, the deceiver of the whole world."

I remember, sometime in the month of February a kind man by the name of Vincent, after knowing what happened to me, took me to visit Brother Vincent and his wife, both, God fearing people. It was my privilege to meet with them. That night, we talked, read verses from the Word of God and prayed. Then Brother Vincent said, "God has told me that before the end of this year, all your problems will be solved." But what do you think was my response? Instead of believing that it wasn’t Brother Vincent who spoke, but the Lord who spoke through him, I go and say, "But my lawyer told me that my case will end in June." What was the problem there? Lack of faith. Why would Brother Vincent make such a statement? He only told me what the Lord told him.

In the months to follow I traveled on a rather rough road. There were many holes along the way, holes into which I fell and got trapped. I tried to be confident that everything would work out for His glory! I tried not to be afraid, not to wonder how I was going to make ends meet. I kept saying to myself, "Jesus will provide me with everything! If He could be there with me in that cell, He will be with me always!" For it says in Phil 4:19 "The Lord will provide all my needs according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus." God is love and always will be. It is His name and His nature. This thought saw me through every suffering. I knew in my heart that his love would not pass me by and fail to help when I was distressed and hurting? It just couldn’t be that way, for His heart is love, His will is nothing but goodness and the paths along which He leads us are good.

And yes, my problems were not all resolved immediately, but He gave me the strength to bear them. My burdens could no longer crush me. And at times when I felt confused, I would say, "Father, thank you for loving me. I know now, that your will, in whatever form it comes to me, is nothing but loving kindness. And the path you are leading me on is good, even if I cannot understand it. You conceived this leading for me in your loving fatherly heart. It is good, whether I can make sense of it or not." I now trust the Lord with my whole heart and I no longer lean on my own understandings.

Today, I feel proud to say, "I am a happier person because I have learnt to wait upon the Lord for everything. I consider all those horrible things that happened, as God’s calling for me to a deeper level in my spiritual walk with Him. But most of all, I believe that through the blood of Jesus I have been delivered from the power of Satan and the world that I allowed myself to be trapped in!"
Praise God! It was due to God’s marvelous grace that I was given the chance to tell you about my testimony. I admit, I wasn’t a serious Christian. I have been blessed with a new life, a new beginning in Jesus Christ. I am convinced that my experiences were designed to show me how little faith I had and how much I needed to trust in God and know that He was involved in things that happened to me. I don’t mean that He always causes bad things to happen just so He can teach us something. I mean that He causes us to be where we need to be so that we can learn what we need to learn. And this was my turning point to lean on God more.

It has been agonizingly painful to recall the exact details of those 3 nights in ‘hell’, but I felt in the Spirit that I had to let you know exactly what I had gone through. It is proof that we have a wonderful Father in heaven who really loves us with a love that is beyond our human understanding. I will always be grateful to God, for His faithfulness and patience with me knows no bounds. The moment I cried out to him for help my Heavenly Father began a war with Satan for my soul. And today, I belong to a wonderful kingdom, the kingdom of Heaven, because my Heavenly Father won the war and my soul no longer belongs to Satan. I regret that I have been so slow a learner. I’m so thankful that God did not give up on me.

I could not see into the future, but after having met with Brother Vincent, I began to spend more time reading and studying my Bible. And in time I began to understand that "All things work together for good" and though the Father may place burdens on us, He will always carry us with the load, sharing in our pain and distress.

My trial was set for the 20th of September. It was really difficult to be calm and not wonder, what my God was up to. Satan knew my weakness, he knew that I felt abandoned. He made me lose confidence in God and His love. He began to prompt questions like: Why does God permit such things? Why doesn’t He hear me when I pray so much? Why did this have to happen to me? This weakness of mine caused me fall and cry often times. But with the help of friends and especially someone like Brother Vincent, I could go back to the Lord and hear him say, "Do you trust me? Do you believe in my love when you can no longer understand me?" That’s when I would say, "I do not need to understand you. I am your child. And what child can possibly understand everything his father decides, says or does? I trust in your love, even if your purposes may be hidden from me."

On the 20th of September, 2000 I went to the Court House. I waited in the hall outside the courtroom. While I waited, I read my Bible. But, at the same time, I waited to see the face of my lawyer. What was wrong with this picture here? I didn’t really put all my trust in the Lord. If I did, it wouldn’t really matter if my lawyer was there or not. Did I truly believe that with all my heart? No! There were doubts and Satan saw right through me. As they called out the names, we had to step into the courtroom. As soon as I stepped inside, fear took a hold of me. I began to panic all the more. I frantically looked out for my lawyer. He wasn’t in sight. Then, to my left, was a huge cage where there were about 15 prisoners. They were all shaved bald, their hands and feet were in cuffs. This sight caused shivers to run down my spine. Nothing could stop the fear from growing inside me. What happened to me? Why didn’t I call upon the Lord? What happened to my confidence in the Lord? So easily I let Satan take over?

Yes, it was that easy for Satan to turn my calm into wreckage. The 10th name to be called out was mine. I approached the judges table with fear running through every vain in my body as I still continued to look out for my lawyer who was no where in sight. The judge questioned me and I answered him. He then told me to go back to my seat. Satan made very sure that my lawyer wouldn’t be there for me, but instead held him up in another courtroom where he had another case earlier in the day. I could hear him say, "Where is your God when you need him most?" At the end of the session, I saw my lawyer walk in. And I thought to myself, what’s the use of him coming now. Where was he when I needed him? If only I knew then that I didn’t need him at all. All I needed was the Lord.

My lawyer went into the judges chambers while I sat outside. A few minutes later, he came out. We walked out of the courtroom together. Instead of encouraging me, he said things that frightened me. He said, "I’ve asked for another hearing, it’s on the 8th of November. The judge wanted to book you. He thinks that you should remain in prison till that day." I began to cry. Again, Satan was enjoying himself at the cost of my weak faith. I cried even more and said, "I don’t want to go to jail. Please, you can’t let them put me in jail." What happened to my trust in the Lord? Wasn’t I supposed to say, "My father I do not understand what’s happening, but I trust in you"? So readily I gave Satan the victory, while I let God just stand there and wait for me to call on him? I lost this battle for sure. I felt drained and exhausted from the inside. I couldn’t feel a thing. I was totally paralyzed in thought. My brain suddenly went dead. I drove home in a daze.

It took a while before I took hold of myself and realized that what happened in the courtroom wasn’t the Lord’s fault. It was my own fault. I gave Satan a small opening ‘Fear’ through which he entered and destroyed all hopes of victory. I got down on my knees and begged the Lord to forgive me. From that day on, I continued to build my faith in the Lord. I told myself that never again am I going to let Satan enter and destroy what I’m trying so hard to build. And that’s what I did till my appearance in court on the 8th of November 2000. This time round, I wasn’t going to let anything frighten me. I left my home that day with this prayer: "Father God, this is your day. I call upon you now to be with me as I leave my home and enter into that courtroom. Give me your peace of mind, your strength and courage. And if I am asked to speak, then let the Holy Spirit guide me and let me speak only what you want met to say. In Jesus’ mighty name I pray. Amen."

I can’t explain it in words, but I felt something inside me. Like a cool sensation run through my body. The previous day, I spoke with Brother Vincent. He told me to read Psalms 23, 68 and 91 before I walked toward my car as if I was going for one of my casual drives. I walked into the courthouse like I was walking into any other building. And this time when I entered the courtroom, I had the strength and courage to face the prisoners in the cage. I was actually able to look in their direction and pray for their souls.

I took my seat and continued to read Psalm 91. I’m not going to deny this, I did look out for my lawyer. And when I didn’t see him, unlike the last time, I didn’t panic. I continued to read Psalm 91. I felt the Lord hold on to my hand and fill me with his strength and courage. I was no longer afraid. I knew this was the Lord’s day. Victory was his! When my name was called out, without fear, I walked to the judge’s desk. One of my lawyer’s employees stood for my lawyer requesting that my case be discussed at the end. The judge requested me to be seated.

At the end of the session, my lawyer went into the judge’s chambers. This time I was called in. While I stood there, my lawyer explained to the judge in detail. And finally the judge said, "Ok, the verdict will be next week." I looked at the judge with tears in my eyes and he said, "It’s alright. You go now, your verdict is next week (11th November 2000)."

I walked out of that courtroom believing in my heart that the Lord has already won the war, that victory was his today! On Saturday – the 18th, I was thinking, although I’ve got to go through another week to hear the verdict. I’m not going to live in anticipation. I know in my heart that the Lord in his loving mercy and his awesome power has set me free and I’m a free woman. I give him all the glory!

On the 15th of November 2000, at about 11:15 a.m. Kuwait time, the verdicts came in. My name was the 6th name to be called out. There were 5 other names called out before mine and all 5 were given sentences. When my name was called out the judge said, ‘INNOCENT’. It’s not because of what my lawyer or because of what I said to the judge. It’s because of the Lord’s mercy and his awesome power in the courtroom on the 8th of November 2000. It was the Lord’s day. Victory already was his even before the verdict came out.

I mentioned earlier, Satan never gives up. Although the Judge pronounced me innocent, the Drugs Investigation Department filed for re-trial. Ofcourse, this news was rather upsetting, but once again, I put all my trust in the Lord. I continued to pray and stand firm in the Lord. It wasn’t easy. Satan kept whispering ugly things in my ears. Often I would hear him say, "Do you really thing this so called Jesus is going to get you out? Don’t you see yourself behind bars? What a fool you are!"
I know that God is true to his word for in Joshua 1:5 it says, "As I was with Moses, so I will be with thee: I will not fail thee, nor forsake thee." The Bible was my only hope. I would read and read and read. The more Satan put doubts in me, the more the Bible made sense. And I didn’t let my pending case trouble me at all, neither was I anxious about anything. I put all my trust in the Lord and I knew that everything would work out according to his plan.

On the 31st of December, at the stroke of midnight, I was in the house of the Lord, giving him praise and worship. That day, I poured out my heart to him. I said, "Lord, I have begun this year in your presence. I want to be a better Christian this year. I want nothing, but to do you will. I pray to you for my sons. I pray for their salvation. Please take care of them as they begin 2001. I make this prayer in the name of your son, Jesus Christ. Amen."

Job 30:26 says, "Yet when I hoped for good, evil came; when I looked for light, then came darkness."
To think that I actually began 2001 in the presence of the Lord, praising and worshiping him and telling him that I want to do his will, praying for my family and then, on the 18th of January 2001, just 18 days into the year, I am told that my 18 year old son Hadi is no more? And yet, all I can say is, "God, I don't know why you want me to carry this load. I can see no good in it and it's awfully heavy. But, if you want me to carry it, I will."

It has been really difficult for me to go on from day to day after I received that tragic news. It’s like I too died. I felt God had abandoned me. As the days went by, I discovered that God was, in fact, with me throughout the entire time. It did not feel or appear that He was there. But I know, He was there walking with me. I know this for a fact, because, I could never have survived a day without my Hadi, if he wasn’t there. And He has told us countless times that He will never leave us nor forsake us. No matter how difficult it is for me to understand why this has happened, like Job, I’m going to embrace the dark times and gain the wisdom that God intends for me from these times.

My son is not dead
I must stop saying, "my son is dead."
That’s a harsh word and much too hopeless
But, instead, I must believe
That he has left this world and is now
With God, sharing a world of pleasant dreams.
I must stop saying, "my son is dead."
It is not right, because it is not true.
But, instead, I must believe
He has gone the way, that someday I will walk,
And, smiling, waits with loving arms
To great me at the door.
My son is not dead, nor is he sitting idle,
For I believe, instead
He hurried upon an envoy’s mission to heaven
And from heaven’s court is now my ambassador
Preparing the way
For the day when I too will leave this world.

The Lord finally closed my case on the 18th of April 2001 (exactly 3 months after my son left me). My company paid me back all the money they owed me, for the whole of 2000, right up to June 2001. I was able to pay my lawyer his fees and all those who helped me in my time of need. I haven’t resumed work yet, but my salary continues to go to my bank. I thank the Lord for all my sufferings, without them, I would never have known the Lord the way I know him now.


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I admit one thing though, inspite of my fear, there was an inner calm which I couldn’t explain then but I understand it now. For this type of calmness only comes from one person, Jesus! I found out later, that people in India, Canada and States were praying for me. That explains the tranquility I felt even in my worst moments. I really can’t express in words how I managed to get through my first night in the cell. To put it in simple English, every minute was traumatic and frightful! If I managed to fall off to sleep, it was due to mere exhaustion. I was exhausted from getting up early in the morning to catch my flight. Exhausted from the hours I was held up at the airport and exhausted from the whole ordeal. The light in the cell was never switched off, but yet, I must have dozed off to sleep within an hour after being thrown inside. But, only to awaken a few hours later and notice that all the women were fast asleep. That strange feeling in the pit of my stomach returned all over again. I must have dozed off to sleep again. I woke up at about five in the morning (I knew it was morning because I had my watch) and the other women were fast asleep. As I sat there, I could hear the devil say, "You’ve blown it! You’re so weak; you’re such a lousy Christian. Give up! Throw in the towel. You’ll never make it!" I got up and began to pace up and down. As I walked, my eyes were turned towards a writing on the wall. The words I read were, "Those who believe in Jesus was saved" (written in poor grammar). The Lord knew what Satan was up to, so He took hold of my hand and said to me, "Come child, read these words, for this is all you have to do, believe in me!" Of course, nothing changed in the cell. It was still very difficult to breathe in there. Each time I got choked, I would go to the door, bend down on my knees, place my nose to the floor and breathe in as much oxygen as I could. I did this several times through out the day. If I wasn’t at the door, I was pacing up and down 1, 2, 3 steps up and 1, 2, 3 steps back that was all the space my feet could take me. To be honest, these were the only verses I had memorised from the Bible and in my moments of weakness and defeat I kept repeating them: 2 TIM 1:7 "THE LORD HAS NOT GIVEN ME A SPIRIT OF FEAR, BUT OF POWER, OF LOVE AND OF A SOUND MIND", 1 JOHN 4:4 "GREATER IS HE THAT IS IN ME THAN HE THAT IS IN THE WORLD" and ROM 8:31 "IF THE LORD BE FOR US WHO CAN BE AGAINST US". These verses gave me inner strength, hope to go on and cling to a love that I could never begin to understand the love of my Lord Jesus Christ! It was now my second day in the cell. I had not eaten any food. All I did was drink water to moisten my lips which were sore. I just wanted the nightmare to come to an end. I longed to go home, to family and friends. Food was the last thing on my mind. I continued to pray. In fact, that’s all I ever did. If I paced up and down, I was praying. If I sat, I had my palms outstretched upwards and I’d pray and if I was lying down, I was praying. I never stopped praying. My lips never stopped giving thanks and praise to the Lord. On my third day in the cell, the Lord spoke to me again. There were many writings on the walls. But the Lord didn’t want me to see them all at one time. So, each day, my eyes would see what He, the Lord wanted them to see. This time, I read, "JESUS IS MY STRENGTH". It’s like the Lord knew that I would need strength on the third day, because I hadn’t consumed food. I just couldn’t eat. The sight of the food made me want to throw up. In the Bible it says, "…for my strength is made perfect in weakness." 2 Corinthians 12:9. On the evening of the third day, I was sitting and praying as usual, while all the women did their usual stuff - talked, laughed, ate. Although the Muslim woman prayed, she was always unhappy and she cried ever so often. That evening she came and sat by my side and said to me, "Who are you praying to?" I said, "Jesus. He is the only one I know how to pray to and through Him, my father in Heaven hears me." Then she said, "Can you pray for me too." I said to her, "I can, but I want you to pray to him." Then she said, "What did you say his name was?" I said, "Jesus." Then, she said, "Jesus" and she began to pray and I actually heard her take the name of Jesus. And seconds later she said, "You know what, I feel so much better." Ofcourse, I didn’t know then that the Lord had actually used me, but I know it now. For it clearly says in, John 4:34 "My food is to do the will of Him who sent Me, and to finish His work." Yes, as Christians, we should be good examples to the others around us especially to non-believers. They should notice our faith in Jesus. This part of my testimony is vital. No matter what I was going through, I never stopped giving thanks and praise to the Lord. I don’t know if you have read, "PRISON TO PRAISE" – "POWER IN PRAISE" – and "PRAISE WORKS", I’m really glad I did! I know, if I hadn’t read those books before my horrible ordeal, I would have never known how to thank and praise the Lord for what happened to me at the airport, for the 3 nights in the cell and for what I’m still going through. Even when I choked, I said, "Thank you Lord, thank you my Jesus. For everything I give you thanks and praise." I know, Satan thought he could stop me from praising God by his devious ways but, I said to him, "Satan, in the name of Jesus, you have no place here, go away, the more you hurt me, the more I’ll give praise and thanks to the Lord!" I honestly admit, I wasn’t aware that praise and worship transforms our troubles till I spent those 3 nights in prison. As I praised and worshiped, I found that my Father was close to me and that He loves me. I had never been in prison before. This first experience should have frightened me, but in the depths of my distress, He gave me a measure of His joy, which no sorrow could take away from me. He gave me His love. What a glorious hope in the midst of my suffering. Nothing so glorifies God as praising Him for His love when we can no longer understand Him and are tempted to lose confidence in His love. In Luke 8:5-8 it tells us about "The Parable of the Sower". In all honestly I do admit that at that time, my faith was like – The seeds that fell on the rock – like the people who hear, receive the word with joy, and have no root, who believe for a while and give in when temptations come.. I let Satan control me with fear. My faith wasn’t strong enough to believe that no matter what the circumstance, God is there by my side. So, the only way He confirmed it to me is, by guiding my eyes to read the writings written by other believers. Actually, He was with me right from the very beginning. If it wasn’t for Him, my brothers friend, wouldn’t have come in and my brother wouldn’t have known how to get in touch with my lawyer. And when my brother did get in touch with my lawyer, he was scheduled to leave for Bahrain and would have been out of town. But the Lord took care of that too. My brother met my lawyer, who promised him that he’d be in court for me first thing on Saturday, which ofcourse I knew nothing of. If the Lord wasn’t for me, then come Saturday, I would have been taken to Court, from there to the Central Jail till my lawyer was able to get me out on bail. But God was with me like He was with Paul, when he was in prison. Psalm 62:1-2 "In God alone does my soul find rest for he saves me. He is both my rock and my salvation; he is my defender so I will never be defeated." The Lord set me free on the 29th of March, 2000. On the morning of that day, at about 10:00 a.m while I was taken to court, I looked toward the sky and said, "Thank you my Lord, thank you that I’m able to see the sky again." I’m not going to deny it, I was afraid. I didn’t know what to expect. I wasn’t even aware that my lawyer would be there because right up to now I wasn’t allowed to make any phone calls. I still didn’t get a chance to talk to anyone or find out about my lawyer. While I waited in Court, my lawyer, (who was in a hurry) walked pass me so fast that I barely had a chance to sight the end of his robe. But I knew instantly that it was him. Don’t ask me how I knew. I just did! The Lord gave me that instinct. For he stepped back, entered the room, held on to my hand and said, "Don’t worry, everything’s going to be alright." If only I knew then what I know now, I would have known at that time, that no matter how difficult the situation, no matter how tough the battle, it wasn’t mine to fight, but God’s. All He wanted from me was to believe in Him and see the salvation of the Lord who is with me. For it clearly says in Deuteronomy 3:22 "You must not fear them, for the Lord your God Himself fights for you." And in Is. 41:10-13 it says "Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yes, I will help thee; I will uphold thee with my victorious right hand." To me, it was the Lord Himself who held my hand through the hand of my lawyer and who used his words to comfort me. It says in Hebrews 13:5 "I will never leave you nor forsake you." At about 8:00 p.m. that same day, after completing the formalities of bail, I was released! The Lord finally got me out of that rotten cell. Of course, being released from the cell didn’t mean that was the end of my problems. After having discussed with my lawyer the pros and cons of my case, he told me, that it would cost US$ 13,000/- up front and US$ 13,000/- once the case was over, a total of US$ 26,000/-. Where could I arrange for such a huge amount of money? All I had with me was US$ 2,000/-. I could clearly hear the devil whisper, "I told you to throw in the towel, but you think this so called Jesus of yours will help you. Well, go, see if your Jesus can get you out of this one?" In all honesty, I do admit I did worry. Satan’s evil whispers got me all worked up. But I remembered God’s word - Mark 11:24 "Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them." So I started praying to the Lord. I humbled myself before Him. I begged forgiveness for the wretched sinner that I am. And you know what, the Lord provided! After all, He is Jehovah Jireh our provider! He provided me with US$ 12,000/-. I was still short of US$ 1000/-. I prayed again and asked the Lord to put compassion in my lawyer’s heart. That is exactly what the Lord did. When I explained to my lawyer that I’m short of money, he told me not to worry, that the rest could be given to him with the other half of the amount. So there, the Lord proved Satan to be a liar and a deceiver! Revelation 12:9 "The devil and Satan, the deceiver of the whole world." I remember, sometime in the month of February a kind man by the name of Vincent, after knowing what happened to me, took me to visit Brother Vincent and his wife, both, God fearing people. It was my privilege to meet with them. That night, we talked, read verses from the Word of God and prayed. Then Brother Vincent said, "God has told me that before the end of this year, all your problems will be solved." But what do you think was my response? Instead of believing that it wasn’t Brother Vincent who spoke, but the Lord who spoke through him, I go and say, "But my lawyer told me that my case will end in June." What was the problem there? Lack of faith. Why would Brother Vincent make such a statement? He only told me what the Lord told him. In the months to follow I traveled on a rather rough road. There were many holes along the way, holes into which I fell and got trapped. I tried to be confident that everything would work out for His glory! I tried not to be afraid, not to wonder how I was going to make ends meet. I kept saying to myself, "Jesus will provide me with everything! If He could be there with me in that cell, He will be with me always!" For it says in Phil 4:19 "The Lord will provide all my needs according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus." God is love and always will be. It is His name and His nature. This thought saw me through every suffering. I knew in my heart that his love would not pass me by and fail to help when I was distressed and hurting? It just couldn’t be that way, for His heart is love, His will is nothing but goodness and the paths along which He leads us are good. And yes, my problems were not all resolved immediately, but He gave me the strength to bear them. My burdens could no longer crush me. And at times when I felt confused, I would say, "Father, thank you for loving me. I know now, that your will, in whatever form it comes to me, is nothing but loving kindness. And the path you are leading me on is good, even if I cannot understand it. You conceived this leading for me in your loving fatherly heart. It is good, whether I can make sense of it or not." I now trust the Lord with my whole heart and I no longer lean on my own understandings. Today, I feel proud to say, "I am a happier person because I have learnt to wait upon the Lord for everything. I consider all those horrible things that happened, as God’s calling for me to a deeper level in my spiritual walk with Him. But most of all, I believe that through the blood of Jesus I have been delivered from the power of Satan and the world that I allowed myself to be trapped in!" Praise God! It was due to God’s marvelous grace that I was given the chance to tell you about my testimony. I admit, I wasn’t a serious Christian. I have been blessed with a new life, a new beginning in Jesus Christ. I am convinced that my experiences were designed to show me how little faith I had and how much I needed to trust in God and know that He was involved in things that happened to me. I don’t mean that He always causes bad things to happen just so He can teach us something. I mean that He causes us to be where we need to be so that we can learn what we need to learn. And this was my turning point to lean on God more. It has been agonizingly painful to recall the exact details of those 3 nights in ‘hell’, but I felt in the Spirit that I had to let you know exactly what I had gone through. It is proof that we have a wonderful Father in heaven who really loves us with a love that is beyond our human understanding. I will always be grateful to God, for His faithfulness and patience with me knows no bounds. The moment I cried out to him for help my Heavenly Father began a war with Satan for my soul. And today, I belong to a wonderful kingdom, the kingdom of Heaven, because my Heavenly Father won the war and my soul no longer belongs to Satan. I regret that I have been so slow a learner. I’m so thankful that God did not give up on me. I could not see into the future, but after having met with Brother Vincent, I began to spend more time reading and studying my Bible. And in time I began to understand that "All things work together for good" and though the Father may place burdens on us, He will always carry us with the load, sharing in our pain and distress. My trial was set for the 20th of September. It was really difficult to be calm and not wonder, what my God was up to. Satan knew my weakness, he knew that I felt abandoned. He made me lose confidence in God and His love. He began to prompt questions like: Why does God permit such things? Why doesn’t He hear me when I pray so much? Why did this have to happen to me? This weakness of mine caused me fall and cry often times. But with the help of friends and especially someone like Brother Vincent, I could go back to the Lord and hear him say, "Do you trust me? Do you believe in my love when you can no longer understand me?" That’s when I would say, "I do not need to understand you. I am your child. And what child can possibly understand everything his father decides, says or does? I trust in your love, even if your purposes may be hidden from me." On the 20th of September, 2000 I went to the Court House. I waited in the hall outside the courtroom. While I waited, I read my Bible. But, at the same time, I waited to see the face of my lawyer. What was wrong with this picture here? I didn’t really put all my trust in the Lord. If I did, it wouldn’t really matter if my lawyer was there or not. Did I truly believe that with all my heart? No! There were doubts and Satan saw right through me. As they called out the names, we had to step into the courtroom. As soon as I stepped inside, fear took a hold of me. I began to panic all the more. I frantically looked out for my lawyer. He wasn’t in sight. Then, to my left, was a huge cage where there were about 15 prisoners. They were all shaved bald, their hands and feet were in cuffs. This sight caused shivers to run down my spine. Nothing could stop the fear from growing inside me. What happened to me? Why didn’t I call upon the Lord? What happened to my confidence in the Lord? So easily I let Satan take over? Yes, it was that easy for Satan to turn my calm into wreckage. The 10th name to be called out was mine. I approached the judges table with fear running through every vain in my body as I still continued to look out for my lawyer who was no where in sight. The judge questioned me and I answered him. He then told me to go back to my seat. Satan made very sure that my lawyer wouldn’t be there for me, but instead held him up in another courtroom where he had another case earlier in the day. I could hear him say, "Where is your God when you need him most?" At the end of the session, I saw my lawyer walk in. And I thought to myself, what’s the use of him coming now. Where was he when I needed him? If only I knew then that I didn’t need him at all. All I needed was the Lord. My lawyer went into the judges chambers while I sat outside. A few minutes later, he came out. We walked out of the courtroom together. Instead of encouraging me, he said things that frightened me. He said, "I’ve asked for another hearing, it’s on the 8th of November. The judge wanted to book you. He thinks that you should remain in prison till that day." I began to cry. Again, Satan was enjoying himself at the cost of my weak faith. I cried even more and said, "I don’t want to go to jail. Please, you can’t let them put me in jail." What happened to my trust in the Lord? Wasn’t I supposed to say, "My father I do not understand what’s happening, but I trust in you"? So readily I gave Satan the victory, while I let God just stand there and wait for me to call on him? I lost this battle for sure. I felt drained and exhausted from the inside. I couldn’t feel a thing. I was totally paralyzed in thought. My brain suddenly went dead. I drove home in a daze. It took a while before I took hold of myself and realized that what happened in the courtroom wasn’t the Lord’s fault. It was my own fault. I gave Satan a small opening ‘Fear’ through which he entered and destroyed all hopes of victory. I got down on my knees and begged the Lord to forgive me. From that day on, I continued to build my faith in the Lord. I told myself that never again am I going to let Satan enter and destroy what I’m trying so hard to build. And that’s what I did till my appearance in court on the 8th of November 2000. This time round, I wasn’t going to let anything frighten me. I left my home that day with this prayer: "Father God, this is your day. I call upon you now to be with me as I leave my home and enter into that courtroom. Give me your peace of mind, your strength and courage. And if I am asked to speak, then let the Holy Spirit guide me and let me speak only what you want met to say. In Jesus’ mighty name I pray. Amen." I can’t explain it in words, but I felt something inside me. Like a cool sensation run through my body. The previous day, I spoke with Brother Vincent. He told me to read Psalms 23, 68 and 91 before I walked toward my car as if I was going for one of my casual drives. I walked into the courthouse like I was walking into any other building. And this time when I entered the courtroom, I had the strength and courage to face the prisoners in the cage. I was actually able to look in their direction and pray for their souls. I took my seat and continued to read Psalm 91. I’m not going to deny this, I did look out for my lawyer. And when I didn’t see him, unlike the last time, I didn’t panic. I continued to read Psalm 91. I felt the Lord hold on to my hand and fill me with his strength and courage. I was no longer afraid. I knew this was the Lord’s day. Victory was his! When my name was called out, without fear, I walked to the judge’s desk. One of my lawyer’s employees stood for my lawyer requesting that my case be discussed at the end. The judge requested me to be seated. At the end of the session, my lawyer went into the judge’s chambers. This time I was called in. While I stood there, my lawyer explained to the judge in detail. And finally the judge said, "Ok, the verdict will be next week." I looked at the judge with tears in my eyes and he said, "It’s alright. You go now, your verdict is next week (11th November 2000)." I walked out of that courtroom believing in my heart that the Lord has already won the war, that victory was his today! On Saturday – the 18th, I was thinking, although I’ve got to go through another week to hear the verdict. I’m not going to live in anticipation. I know in my heart that the Lord in his loving mercy and his awesome power has set me free and I’m a free woman. I give him all the glory! On the 15th of November 2000, at about 11:15 a.m. Kuwait time, the verdicts came in. My name was the 6th name to be called out. There were 5 other names called out before mine and all 5 were given sentences. When my name was called out the judge said, ‘INNOCENT’. It’s not because of what my lawyer or because of what I said to the judge. It’s because of the Lord’s mercy and his awesome power in the courtroom on the 8th of November 2000. It was the Lord’s day. Victory already was his even before the verdict came out. I mentioned earlier, Satan never gives up. Although the Judge pronounced me innocent, the Drugs Investigation Department filed for re-trial. Ofcourse, this news was rather upsetting, but once again, I put all my trust in the Lord. I continued to pray and stand firm in the Lord. It wasn’t easy. Satan kept whispering ugly things in my ears. Often I would hear him say, "Do you really thing this so called Jesus is going to get you out? Don’t you see yourself behind bars? What a fool you are!" I know that God is true to his word for in Joshua 1:5 it says, "As I was with Moses, so I will be with thee: I will not fail thee, nor forsake thee." The Bible was my only hope. I would read and read and read. The more Satan put doubts in me, the more the Bible made sense. And I didn’t let my pending case trouble me at all, neither was I anxious about anything. I put all my trust in the Lord and I knew that everything would work out according to his plan. On the 31st of December, at the stroke of midnight, I was in the house of the Lord, giving him praise and worship. That day, I poured out my heart to him. I said, "Lord, I have begun this year in your presence. I want to be a better Christian this year. I want nothing, but to do you will. I pray to you for my sons. I pray for their salvation. Please take care of them as they begin 2001. I make this prayer in the name of your son, Jesus Christ. Amen." Job 30:26 says, "Yet when I hoped for good, evil came; when I looked for light, then came darkness." To think that I actually began 2001 in the presence of the Lord, praising and worshiping him and telling him that I want to do his will, praying for my family and then, on the 18th of January 2001, just 18 days into the year, I am told that my 18 year old son Hadi is no more? And yet, all I can say is, "God, I don't know why you want me to carry this load. I can see no good in it and it's awfully heavy. But, if you want me to carry it, I will." It has been really difficult for me to go on from day to day after I received that tragic news. It’s like I too died. I felt God had abandoned me. As the days went by, I discovered that God was, in fact, with me throughout the entire time. It did not feel or appear that He was there. But I know, He was there walking with me. I know this for a fact, because, I could never have survived a day without my Hadi, if he wasn’t there. And He has told us countless times that He will never leave us nor forsake us. No matter how difficult it is for me to understand why this has happened, like Job, I’m going to embrace the dark times and gain the wisdom that God intends for me from these times. My son is not dead I must stop saying, "my son is dead." That’s a harsh word and much too hopeless But, instead, I must believe That he has left this world and is now With God, sharing a world of pleasant dreams. I must stop saying, "my son is dead." It is not right, because it is not true. But, instead, I must believe He has gone the way, that someday I will walk, And, smiling, waits with loving arms To great me at the door. My son is not dead, nor is he sitting idle, For I believe, instead He hurried upon an envoy’s mission to heaven And from heaven’s court is now my ambassador Preparing the way For the day when I too will leave this world. The Lord finally closed my case on the 18th of April 2001 (exactly 3 months after my son left me). My company paid me back all the money they owed me, for the whole of 2000, right up to June 2001. I was able to pay my lawyer his fees and all those who helped me in my time of need. I haven’t resumed work yet, but my salary continues to go to my bank. I thank the Lord for all my sufferings, without them, I would never have known the Lord the way I know him now. Return to Testimonial Page D back to top
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Ann's Testimony Continued...